I am really looking forward to Lent this year. It is another way that I can show Jesus I love Him more than I love myself. The 3 ply cord of fasting, prayer and alsmgiving is a good blue print to follow. Also following the Works of Mercy as an addition gives new ideas to spiritual growth.
But Lent came early. We have had the opportunity to shelter a homeless man. Eric is 49 years old, but is more like a teen in mental abilities. It is always hard to add another human being to the family mix. But this is special because I see the face of Jesus in Eric. Whenever I offer him food, it is to Jesus I offer it. When I ask him how he is doing, it is to Jesus I pose this question.
I am alittle concerned about what will happen to Eric once the week is over. There just don't seem to be enough shelters for the homeless. And Eric is not your average man. He would be perfect living in a monastery......praying with the monks......doing little odd jobs. How I wish I could set this up for him.
Jesus, I trust in YOU for Eric. How You will work is a mystery to me, but I am so glad that I could give you my all in this situation.
I am really thinking about what to do for this Lent after this?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Guardian Angel
I was blessed a few years ago to be given the name of my guardian angel. His name is Bruno. And he is my constant companion. I am very grateful for him and to him. He has kept me from danger and death and encouraged me onto virtue.
I learned more about our guardian angels through Sister Emmanuel of Medgjugorde. They
always want to be busy doing good to us and for us.
So I have started a new night time tradition: I hold a Rosary in my hand while I sleep and I get to offer the intention and my dear Bruno prays the Rosary for me.
Skeptics may think this is cheating. My family says 1 Rosary daily together. And my husband and I say frequently another Rosary, even 2 more, together.
But having Bruno say a Rosary at night while I sleep and hold those precious beads in yielding some great peace in my life.
Thank you Mother Mary for the world's greatest weapon.
I learned more about our guardian angels through Sister Emmanuel of Medgjugorde. They
always want to be busy doing good to us and for us.
So I have started a new night time tradition: I hold a Rosary in my hand while I sleep and I get to offer the intention and my dear Bruno prays the Rosary for me.
Skeptics may think this is cheating. My family says 1 Rosary daily together. And my husband and I say frequently another Rosary, even 2 more, together.
But having Bruno say a Rosary at night while I sleep and hold those precious beads in yielding some great peace in my life.
Thank you Mother Mary for the world's greatest weapon.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Mystics & Mysticism
Last Friday I was wiping down the Altar at St. Mels, before I vaacumed. A woman praying the Rosary watched me and came over to tell me something wonderful.
She said that in her Theology class, the Altar came to represent the Body of Christ.
I am honored to perform this task of love for my Jesus.
Later that day, Fr. Tom stopped by our home and I related the above. He says it is not quite so, but that the Altar of the Mass becomes like the Crucifix upon which our Savior died. I told him I figured that anywhere Jesus is or was, would be sanctified.
To that he replied along the lines of "right on"!
But the most startling news came when Fr. Tom said that by definition all Catholics are mystics. Catholics believe that the bread and wine of Holy Communion are the Precious Body and Blood of Jesus. We believe in what we don't see. That is incredible!! That is mysticism. I made bold the definition below.
mys·ti·cism (mĭs'tĭ-sĭz'əm)
n. Immediate consciousness of the transcendent or ultimate reality or God.
The experience of such communion as described by mystics.
A belief in the existence of realities beyond perceptual or intellectual apprehension that are central to being and directly accessible by subjective experience.
3.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Hough
She said that in her Theology class, the Altar came to represent the Body of Christ.
I am honored to perform this task of love for my Jesus.
Later that day, Fr. Tom stopped by our home and I related the above. He says it is not quite so, but that the Altar of the Mass becomes like the Crucifix upon which our Savior died. I told him I figured that anywhere Jesus is or was, would be sanctified.
To that he replied along the lines of "right on"!
But the most startling news came when Fr. Tom said that by definition all Catholics are mystics. Catholics believe that the bread and wine of Holy Communion are the Precious Body and Blood of Jesus. We believe in what we don't see. That is incredible!! That is mysticism. I made bold the definition below.
mys·ti·cism (mĭs'tĭ-sĭz'əm)
n. Immediate consciousness of the transcendent or ultimate reality or God.
The experience of such communion as described by mystics.
A belief in the existence of realities beyond perceptual or intellectual apprehension that are central to being and directly accessible by subjective experience.
3.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Hough
I give it all to God
In Pelianito's most recent post, God asks for an offering of everything, in order to save souls.
It is 2:37am, and I am awake because Brian came to bed a half hour ago after watching 2 movies. I can't sleep for being wound up with anger and frustration at my husband for not working, for staying up late, night after night, for making me have to explain to curious family and friends his lack of work. I could go on. But it only serves to further the mental and emotional storm within me.
This seems like the perfect offering I can give to God. So after rolling out the homemade cinnamon rolls to offer my beloved children while I am at work, I will make a total gift of myself to God, and drink a cup of Sleepy Time Tea, hopefully to catch a few more hours of sleep before I get up and get ready for work at Eskaton.
Are you ready, most high and glorious God?
I give you myself.
I give you my lack of sleep.
I give you my tossing and turning in bed.
I give you my frustration and anxiety.
I give you my lack of security.
I give you my marriage.
I give you my struggle to love him even through this really hard time.
I give you my house and home, that I don't want to loose.
I give you my words.
I give you my thoughts.
I give you my hopes and dreams.
I give you my desires.
I give you my pride.
I give you my embarrassment.
I give you my heartbreak that my dear husband has not found work in almost 10 months and does not seem to be trying very hard. I know he feels useless and unwanted.
I give you my struggle to constantly encourage him, to what seems like no avail.
I give you my senses: seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching and the struggle to keep my thoughts and words acceptable in Your sight. All I want to do is please You. And I fall so miserably short of that.
I give you my silence, that I must keep in order not to wound him.
I give you our two old cars, that are hanging on. Thank you.
I give you my health, which is stressed out.
I give you my "love" of tea and chocolate. I sure hope it is not an idol.
I give you my mental and emotional health, which is under seige by the enemy.
I give you the pressure I feel to keep it all together.
I give you the negative feelings I struggle against.
I give you the bitterness.
I give you the lack of respect I feel for him, and what seems like a lack of love.
But loves endures, and hopes, all things. (1 Cor. 13)
I give you my job at Eskaton and thank you for that refuge.
I give you homeschooling that I feel too burned out to do. Please hold me to that committment for my children's sake. Thank you for the 20 years I have spent teaching and training my children for YOUR kingdom. Nothing academically could come close to that.
I give you my children.
I give you my concern for them, when they don't follow You.
I give you my anxiety over them and their choices.
I give you my hurt when they don't call me.
I give you my pain when they forget about me on my birthday and Mother's Day.
I give up my dread of being abandoned. You will not abandon me, and are always with me. Thank you. I believe YOU. I believe in You.
I give you my weight. How I would like to loose 20 pounds, but it would only serve my vanity. And I give that to you, too.
I give you my dependence on makeup to hide my blotchy skin.
I give you my clothes, or lack of choice there of. How many outfits do we need? My closet is sufficient, but like any woman, I like to be able to have choices.
I give you my desire to shop and have the freedom to get new clothes.
I give you my desire to be someone in the world's eyes, that I really despise anyway.
I struggle with being well dressed and coifed driving a nice car. But I am just a mom of eight in plain clothes driving a very old ugly car (Echo) that does not cool sufficiently in the summer on 105 plus degree days.
I give you the joys I have right now:
cooking for my family,
my wonderful children,
the Chapel where You stay for love of us,
getting back into watercolor, poor artist that I am,
Mark Mallett's praise and worship cd,
the Direction for our times volumes,
my garden with its trees and flowers and plants, or the hope they contain, since it is winter.
My husband is not my joy right now and I am sad about that. This is where the marriage vows kick in: for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part. Yep, that about covers it.
Oh, I give you my sarcasm,too, and aplogize that I even have it.
Lord, what ever I have, I give it to you. I hold nothing back. I may need reminding that I gave it to You, since I am alittle forgetful on occassion. And I may need coaching on how to give something up. Giving up vanity means not looking in a mirror,
but what does giving up embarrassment look like? Putting on a smile, as genuine as possible?
What does giving up my desires mean? Not having any? or putting them in right order, that my desire for You and Your kingdom in Heaven and on earth come first?
Lord, please accept this offering of all that I am and am not,
and all that I have, and have not.
I am your beloved and lowly worm.
And that makes me happy.
Amen.
It is 2:37am, and I am awake because Brian came to bed a half hour ago after watching 2 movies. I can't sleep for being wound up with anger and frustration at my husband for not working, for staying up late, night after night, for making me have to explain to curious family and friends his lack of work. I could go on. But it only serves to further the mental and emotional storm within me.
This seems like the perfect offering I can give to God. So after rolling out the homemade cinnamon rolls to offer my beloved children while I am at work, I will make a total gift of myself to God, and drink a cup of Sleepy Time Tea, hopefully to catch a few more hours of sleep before I get up and get ready for work at Eskaton.
Are you ready, most high and glorious God?
I give you myself.
I give you my lack of sleep.
I give you my tossing and turning in bed.
I give you my frustration and anxiety.
I give you my lack of security.
I give you my marriage.
I give you my struggle to love him even through this really hard time.
I give you my house and home, that I don't want to loose.
I give you my words.
I give you my thoughts.
I give you my hopes and dreams.
I give you my desires.
I give you my pride.
I give you my embarrassment.
I give you my heartbreak that my dear husband has not found work in almost 10 months and does not seem to be trying very hard. I know he feels useless and unwanted.
I give you my struggle to constantly encourage him, to what seems like no avail.
I give you my senses: seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching and the struggle to keep my thoughts and words acceptable in Your sight. All I want to do is please You. And I fall so miserably short of that.
I give you my silence, that I must keep in order not to wound him.
I give you our two old cars, that are hanging on. Thank you.
I give you my health, which is stressed out.
I give you my "love" of tea and chocolate. I sure hope it is not an idol.
I give you my mental and emotional health, which is under seige by the enemy.
I give you the pressure I feel to keep it all together.
I give you the negative feelings I struggle against.
I give you the bitterness.
I give you the lack of respect I feel for him, and what seems like a lack of love.
But loves endures, and hopes, all things. (1 Cor. 13)
I give you my job at Eskaton and thank you for that refuge.
I give you homeschooling that I feel too burned out to do. Please hold me to that committment for my children's sake. Thank you for the 20 years I have spent teaching and training my children for YOUR kingdom. Nothing academically could come close to that.
I give you my children.
I give you my concern for them, when they don't follow You.
I give you my anxiety over them and their choices.
I give you my hurt when they don't call me.
I give you my pain when they forget about me on my birthday and Mother's Day.
I give up my dread of being abandoned. You will not abandon me, and are always with me. Thank you. I believe YOU. I believe in You.
I give you my weight. How I would like to loose 20 pounds, but it would only serve my vanity. And I give that to you, too.
I give you my dependence on makeup to hide my blotchy skin.
I give you my clothes, or lack of choice there of. How many outfits do we need? My closet is sufficient, but like any woman, I like to be able to have choices.
I give you my desire to shop and have the freedom to get new clothes.
I give you my desire to be someone in the world's eyes, that I really despise anyway.
I struggle with being well dressed and coifed driving a nice car. But I am just a mom of eight in plain clothes driving a very old ugly car (Echo) that does not cool sufficiently in the summer on 105 plus degree days.
I give you the joys I have right now:
cooking for my family,
my wonderful children,
the Chapel where You stay for love of us,
getting back into watercolor, poor artist that I am,
Mark Mallett's praise and worship cd,
the Direction for our times volumes,
my garden with its trees and flowers and plants, or the hope they contain, since it is winter.
My husband is not my joy right now and I am sad about that. This is where the marriage vows kick in: for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part. Yep, that about covers it.
Oh, I give you my sarcasm,too, and aplogize that I even have it.
Lord, what ever I have, I give it to you. I hold nothing back. I may need reminding that I gave it to You, since I am alittle forgetful on occassion. And I may need coaching on how to give something up. Giving up vanity means not looking in a mirror,
but what does giving up embarrassment look like? Putting on a smile, as genuine as possible?
What does giving up my desires mean? Not having any? or putting them in right order, that my desire for You and Your kingdom in Heaven and on earth come first?
Lord, please accept this offering of all that I am and am not,
and all that I have, and have not.
I am your beloved and lowly worm.
And that makes me happy.
Amen.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
My Anima Christi
Soul of Christ, Sanctify me.
Body of Christ, Save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the Side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, Strengthen me.
Cross of Christ, lead me.
Sacred Heart of Christ, inflame me.
Mother of Christ, form me.
Spirit of Christ, create in me a clean heart.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy Wounds, hide me and heal me.
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
At the hour of my death, call me and bid me,
That with Thy saints, I can praise Thee forever.
Amen.
Body of Christ, Save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the Side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, Strengthen me.
Cross of Christ, lead me.
Sacred Heart of Christ, inflame me.
Mother of Christ, form me.
Spirit of Christ, create in me a clean heart.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy Wounds, hide me and heal me.
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
At the hour of my death, call me and bid me,
That with Thy saints, I can praise Thee forever.
Amen.
Mark 6
What can be learned from Mark 6: 30-56?
First, the Apostles come back from working great signs, after Jesus sent them out 2 by 2. Then Jesus tells them they need to rest because there is alot of activity and people are still seeking them out. They all, Jesus included, climb into a boat and set out, but the people get wind of it and preceed them to their destination.
Lesson: in order to serve others, you need to have your rest and quiet. How can a pitcher continually pour out its contents, if itself is not refreshed?
Another lesson: in the quiet and rest, I need to connect with God in order to keep serving Him and not myself.
Let's go on: When the Apostles and Jesus get to the other side of the lake, people are waiting for them already. People always want something from someone or better yet, Some One. The are hungry in spirit, and in body. And Jesus sees this. So He teaches them and then instructs the Apostles to feed them. They are bewildered as to how to do it. He multiplies five loaves and two fish and there are 12 baskets of leftovers.
The Lesson: even after working signs and miracles, the Apostles can't figure out how to feed several thousand: 5000 men and several thousand more women and children. They just don't make the connection. It was all meant to be a lesson to the Apostles.
Jesus is constantly and still teaching them, preparing them to lead His Church.
Lesson 4: 12 baskets of leftover fragments of bread and fish. I think this might signify 1 basket per Apostle. This lesson of lack of belief was meant for all, not just some of the Apostles. Jesus is asking each of the Apostles to feed His sheep.
Moving on: Jesus asks His Apostles to preceed Him to another local while He dismisses the crowds then goes to pray alone on a mountain. He needs quiet time, too.
In the middle of the night Jesus comes walking on rough waters to bypass them. (?)
Then He joins them in the boat, the storm dies down and they are completely astounded. They had not understood the incident of the loaves. Their hearts were hardened.
Lesson: There are some things we will not understand about Jesus. Why did He want to pass them by on the water? Was there a greater lesson for them and us?
Lesson 6: An immediate transition from the storm to the incident of the multiplication of loaves and fish, leaves me confused. That's ok, for I am little and cannot understand it all. Except, that the Miracles of Jesus are amazing and hard to understand. Everything Jesus does is miraculous.
Lesson 7: Their hearts were hardened. I have pondered this for many years. Just a few weeks ago I asked a 90 year old minister (Dr. Leroy Sanders) what this meant.
He said that when humans are confronted by the supernatural, our minds have a hard time embracing it, so the natural response is to disbelieve, or in other words, have a hard heart.
Finally, Jesus and the Apostles cross together to Gennesaret where lots of people are seeking healing. Whenever they touched Jesus' cloak, they were healed.
Lesson 8: Jesus did not ask if they believed in Him or that He is the Son of God, that was not a requirement.
Their silent faith in Him was enough to render a healing.
Lesson: what is my silent faith like?
First, the Apostles come back from working great signs, after Jesus sent them out 2 by 2. Then Jesus tells them they need to rest because there is alot of activity and people are still seeking them out. They all, Jesus included, climb into a boat and set out, but the people get wind of it and preceed them to their destination.
Lesson: in order to serve others, you need to have your rest and quiet. How can a pitcher continually pour out its contents, if itself is not refreshed?
Another lesson: in the quiet and rest, I need to connect with God in order to keep serving Him and not myself.
Let's go on: When the Apostles and Jesus get to the other side of the lake, people are waiting for them already. People always want something from someone or better yet, Some One. The are hungry in spirit, and in body. And Jesus sees this. So He teaches them and then instructs the Apostles to feed them. They are bewildered as to how to do it. He multiplies five loaves and two fish and there are 12 baskets of leftovers.
The Lesson: even after working signs and miracles, the Apostles can't figure out how to feed several thousand: 5000 men and several thousand more women and children. They just don't make the connection. It was all meant to be a lesson to the Apostles.
Jesus is constantly and still teaching them, preparing them to lead His Church.
Lesson 4: 12 baskets of leftover fragments of bread and fish. I think this might signify 1 basket per Apostle. This lesson of lack of belief was meant for all, not just some of the Apostles. Jesus is asking each of the Apostles to feed His sheep.
Moving on: Jesus asks His Apostles to preceed Him to another local while He dismisses the crowds then goes to pray alone on a mountain. He needs quiet time, too.
In the middle of the night Jesus comes walking on rough waters to bypass them. (?)
Then He joins them in the boat, the storm dies down and they are completely astounded. They had not understood the incident of the loaves. Their hearts were hardened.
Lesson: There are some things we will not understand about Jesus. Why did He want to pass them by on the water? Was there a greater lesson for them and us?
Lesson 6: An immediate transition from the storm to the incident of the multiplication of loaves and fish, leaves me confused. That's ok, for I am little and cannot understand it all. Except, that the Miracles of Jesus are amazing and hard to understand. Everything Jesus does is miraculous.
Lesson 7: Their hearts were hardened. I have pondered this for many years. Just a few weeks ago I asked a 90 year old minister (Dr. Leroy Sanders) what this meant.
He said that when humans are confronted by the supernatural, our minds have a hard time embracing it, so the natural response is to disbelieve, or in other words, have a hard heart.
Finally, Jesus and the Apostles cross together to Gennesaret where lots of people are seeking healing. Whenever they touched Jesus' cloak, they were healed.
Lesson 8: Jesus did not ask if they believed in Him or that He is the Son of God, that was not a requirement.
Their silent faith in Him was enough to render a healing.
Lesson: what is my silent faith like?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
we need not fear
Brian and I have been waking early (6pm) to go to 7am Holy Mass. Today, the Feast of the Presentation, we made the Stations of the Cross after Mass. We are blessed by each others company as we make the Stations, each of us offering meditations on each station.
Today, at the 7th Station, I clearly understood that we need not be afraid of anything.
Since we have our faith in Jesus Christ, nothing else matters.
In the next few days I will offer meditations on all the Stations.....God willing.
Praised be Jesus and Mary!
Today, at the 7th Station, I clearly understood that we need not be afraid of anything.
Since we have our faith in Jesus Christ, nothing else matters.
In the next few days I will offer meditations on all the Stations.....God willing.
Praised be Jesus and Mary!
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