Sunday, March 14, 2010

Pope Benedict

The Pope is coming under the spotlight and for anyone who reads this blog:

I AM SUPPORTING THE POPE!!!!!!!!Not because of anything he has or has not done. I support him because of Him who put the Pope in charge.

End of the matter in my mind.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

hardness of heart

Hardness of heart. We read about it often. Can we recognize it when it happens.
Right now I can.
I have hardness of heart over a son who doesn't want to communicate with us.
I have hardness of heart over Jesus' words to Pelianito "time is short". He has been saying that for a while. I choose to believe, though I have heard it before.
I have hardness of heart over the state of the disbelieving world. I would like to walk away from it all.
But to what purpose? Can a man live like an island without contact with others.
No. I am stuck here and now, in the here and now.

I better go pray Psalm 51.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Family is watching the latest Star Trek movie and I cannot handle the anxiety.
Why is our world so addicted to adrenalin and shock and awe?
It is as if they crowd out the Spirit calling them.
There was 1 scene of sexual implication and I yelled for Brian to fast forward.
I wish he felt more passionate about guarding our children.

a great dinner

I made a great dinner: homemade pasta with alfredo sauce, fresh king crab, excellent french bread with good butter, 3 Sisters Cabernet Savingaun sp? and a Claim Jumper chocolate pie.
I have so much fun cooking, especially with Brian.
Thank you Lord for little and big joys.


As I type my children are talking with 3 of their cousins.
There is a longggggg history with these particular cousins. They drive me nuts because they know everything and never stop talking.
There was a huge fraction 4 months ago and I just can't get over being cautious. I want to get over it but I am so reserved.
Help me Lord, please, I really want to love.

The Prodigals

Every good preacher writes about the Biblical story of the Prodigal Son. Deceased Rev. Henri Nouwen wrote, as did many others, that we all play each role sometime in our life.
I can recall when I was briefly a prodigal. I was doing something wrong and I knew it and the only way I could continue was to make my folks old fashioned know-nothings.
I also recall when I was the older 'brother' looking with scorn upon my 'prodigal' sister. She hadn't run away, but was getting alot of attention and priviledges from our parents because of a learning disorder. I was jealous.
Now I am the parent of a prodigal. With 8 children I expect to go through this spiritual disorder, one child at a time.
The current prodigal is 18 and a US Marine. He doesn't want to talk to us and skirts every issue we put before him. I think he is running away from God because of guilt.
No matter what the reason, I feel profound pain over this.
My first prodigal got married to his 8 month pregnant girl friend. They divorces less than 2 years later. He is remarried to remarkable woman who I really love. I wish she were baptized and a practicing Catholic. I wish their children were baptized, too. Dan only calls when he wants something....and they never say thank you for anything I do.
My second prodigal at 23 is over being a prodigal. But from the age of 12 to 20 he was a prodigal and learning by hard knocks. He got arrested, broke his back, ran for his life, got arrested again, and finally learned his lessons. He knows he has to play be society's rules. He calls us 3 or 4 times a week just to hear our voice and freely admits we are his best friends.
This prodigal stuff hurts the parents so much. I can't bear to think I will go through it again with any of the 5 children left at home........
Give me strength Lord to love even when I get hurt.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Total gift of self

Amazing how events of life can confirm one another. Again, I make a total gift of self to Jesus and various readings affirm this and support it.
His is the only voice I want to hear.
Where a few weeks ago, I meditated on what was I still holding onto??, now it is:
abandon everything for Christ!!!
Nothing is worth it without Jesus.
Unfortuneately, I will probably have to be reminded of this......

Jesus I trust is YOU!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

He wants me all to Himself

I spent a wonderful hour in the Adoration Chapel, where our Lord is enthroned 24 hours a day in the Monstrance to be adored.

I have been feeling arid and dry, devoid of the fire of love that keeps me praying with urgency.

I told Jesus, that I really want Him to talk to me and what do I have to do in order to hear Him? I also said I was afraid He wouldn't talk to me, and that is why I was reading other blogs where He does talk to the authors.

It was somewhere in the middle of this prayer and discussion, and I believe He said He wants me all to Himself.

I told my Jesus that I would do anything to hear His voice and receive His directions and commands.

I gave Him the key to my heart.

So what will I do different?

I will read the New Testament so much more and only go to those special blogs when there is a new entry. And unless prompted I will not write anything on those blogs.

Jesus, I love you. You are my life and breath and the giver of every good thing in my life. I want you more than I want to read what you say to others. Please talk to me.

Love, Your Jeanne

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How to Pray without ceasing

Pelianito's blog requesting urgent prayer without stopping for Pope Benedict took Brian and I to Mass, offered DM Chaplet for him, 2 Rosaries, 1 Stations of the Cross, and Adoration, all for the Pope.

I am not sure how to 'prayer without ceasing'.

I kind of wonder if it is like putting my entire life on hold and praying as if my life depended on it. Well, actually it does.

Do I don sackcloth and ashes and close myself in my room, forsaking my daily duty to pray with out stopping?

I wonder.

I know there is a way to make everything I do, a prayer. Holy Spirit and Bruno please help me.