Thursday, January 7, 2010

Why Their Hearts were Hardened

Wednesday's Gospel reading on Mark 6:45-52 recounts Jesus feeding the 5000 and then retreating to the mountain to pray. The Apostles went by boat across the Sea of Galilee and were greatly tossed by a storm....."He meant to pass by them" I am curious as to why Jesus wanted to pass by the frightened Apostles being battered by wind and waves. But onto the real point of discussion.

Jesus comforts them and says "Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!"
Jesus climbed into the boat and the wind died down. The Apostles were astounded. They had not understood the incident of the loaves. On the Contrary their hearts were hardened.
Why were their hearts hardened???????

I tossed this around in my own heart and head and discussed it with my husband. Why were their hearts hardened?

Was is the miracle of the multiplication of loaves and fishes?
Was it Jesus walking on the water?
Was it the calming of the storm?

I finally asked a 90 year old man who is a protestant minister. With confidence he replied that the human mind cannot comprehend the supernatural, so our instinctual, dare I say: natural response is to minimalize, trivialize, or disbelief the event.
This makes so much sense.
And I am relieved that it happened to the Apostles, because when it happens to me,
I won't be shocked.

I have just come out a short dry spell, aridity, lack of fervor for my Jesus. I hate it when it happens. But it does.
But the Christian soul keeps doing what it always does and returns to and keeps up the prayers it has been formed by.

Jesus exchanged my heart of stone, for a heart of flesh. And it feels so good to be alive again.

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